Dismayed

After a few months of living in Lucerne Valley I'm deeply dismayed. I thought the idea of being in a couple was to do whatever was within your power to keep your partner happy. I am sadly mistaken. No one cares if I am happy or not except me.

With some changes I could enjoy living here. I'd need a car so I can get a job, then get to my job and gigs. I need a decent Internet connection because using the library's computer for 3 hours to 6 hours a week is just too limiting. I need to be able to run around the area to do freelance work. I can't just live 20+ miles from every income opportunity and expect to survive here.

Worst of all I'm deeply angry. It's hard to be creative and functional when I feel like a simmering kettle of bitterness and despair. I don't have any real life people to talk to except him. And he's not interested in anything I have to say on these matters. I'm just suppose to adapt and like it or lump it. I'm always cold. We have a small wood stove, but it only heats up about half the living room. The only time I go in my bedroom is if I'm going to crawl under the covers and sleep at night.

And this is winter. By summer it will be the opposite, where the only way to be cool is to stick my head in the refrigerator.